Five Foot Flirt

Of the recently-composed material, most of the songwriters are English. Cyril Tawney, of the West Country is responsible for FIVE FOOT FLIRT, a lament on a faithless love. "Pumping away," of course, is not the vulgarity which many of our audiences seem to consider it, but refers to the action required to operate the treadle bellows of the old fashioned church organ.

Now don't say Jim Johnson weren't with 'ee last night
I heard him as plain as can be
I was crossing the mound when I heard a strange sound
Down by the sycamore tree
I thought perhaps a cow had got stuck in the mud
And pulled out its foot with a moo
But I'm satisfied now that that noise weren't a cow
It was Jim kissing you:
     You'm a five foot flirt in the robes of an angel
     You better had leave I alone
     Why the way you're acting it nearly unnerves I
     The thing that preserves I is my joviality
     Though I've got trouble as thick as the stubble
     It's you that's the worst of them all
     Get out of my track and if you want to come back
     You can crawl, crawl, crawl.

Remember what happened last Saturday night
The air was so peaceful and still
Like a bolt from the blue came a hullabaloo
A growling and a cackling so shrill
It came to my head as I leapt from my bed
There's a fox at my chickens, that's true
I crept out in my socks and bumped into the fox
It was Jim kissing you:

Now what's your excuse for last Sunday in church
It fair turned the poor vicar grey
While the organist was rendering Lead Kindly Light
Jim Johnson kept pumping away
Then all of a sudden the organ stopped short
The vicar got into a stew
When he went round behind, tell me what did he find
He found Jim kissing you:

© Golden Hind Music