The Derby Ram

As I was a-going to Derby, upon a Christmas Day
I met the finest ram, sir, that ever was fed on hay:
          And indeed, my lads, it's true, my lads
          I never was known to lie
          And if you'd a-been in Derby
          You'd a-seen the same as I.

He had four feet to walk, sir, he had four feet to stand
And every foot that he did have, it covered an acre of land:

The horns upon his head, sir, held a regiment of men
And the tongue that lay within his head would feed them, every one:

This ram was fat behind, sir, this ram was fat before
And in between his legs you could drive a coach and four:

Now the wool on this ram's back, sir, it was not thin but thick
Took all the women of Derby ten long years to pick:

Now the wool on this ram's belly, sir, it was not thick but thin
Took all the women of Derby ten long years to spin:

The space between his hams, sir, was forty yards complete
A gallery was built there where the Quakers used to meet:

The tail that hung behind him was fifty yards and an ell
They shipped it off to Rome, sir, to ring Saint Peter's bell:

Now the butcher that killed that ram, sir, was in danger of his life
He called unto the company to bring him a longer knife:

The man who bought this ram, sir, he must be very rich
The one that sings this song, sir, is a lying son of a...

So now my song is ended, I've got no more to say
So please to give us a Christmas box and then we'll go away:

© Golden Hind Music