What A Mouth!

A cockney music hall song, is somewhat streamlined from the original which was written by R.P. Weston in 1906. It was sung by Harry Champion, who made famous "Any Old Iron" and "I'm Henery the Eight I Am." I think our version came from Tommy Steele.

Oh, Jimmy Bean was a funny looking fellow
If he had a bigger mouth, you'd've took it for a cellar
But his mouth queered him
From winning a beauty show
Oh, it was like a steam boat funnel
Or a railway arch, or the Blackwall tunnel
And you can't see Jim
When he opens his mouth, you know
And as old Jim goes a-walkin' about
You can 'ear the kids all 'ollerin' out:
     What a mouth, what a mouth, what a North and South
     Blimey, what a mouth he's got
     Well, when he was a baby, Lor' Cor Lover
     His poor old mother used to feed 'im with a shovel
     What a gap, poor chap
     He's never been known to laugh
     For if he did, it's a penny to a quid
     That 'is face would fall in half.

Oh, mouth so large, Cor Lor, Cor Lumme
He can whisper in his own ear, ain't it funny
And to quench his thirst
Now he's got to have a drink of mild
He got so drunk one foggy morn
That he laid in the road
And he started to yawn
And a poor old man was delivering coals close by
And as he went to shoot his load
He saw Jim's mouth out in the road
Now, this old man bein' a short sighted fellow
When he saw Jim's mouth, he took it for the cellar
And he shot the lot
Right into his mouth, no joke
Now Jim poor soul's got a belly full of coal
And he coughs up lumps of coke:

© Golden Hind Music